Part 2

****More new words I've learnt in this letter****

…………………………I felt that my strength was giving way, & indeed it did - & I knew that things would never alter unless they were brought to a conclusion by some means or other.

Now my dear husband, I am well enough to come home, & in a few days Artie will also be able to travel. Are you ready for us? You see, my dear, I should never dream of asking such a question, but you have so often told me 'that I was of no earthly use to you' that it is perhaps as well to do so. I have an ever present idea that you would prefer me to be away, & I am the last person in the world to force myself upon anyone. In fact, I could not stand again the loveless miserable life I led for months at Woodford - I had none of a wife's privileges, not one single right that belongs to a wife. I simply bore the title 'Mrs Hockley' - to all other intents & purposes, I might have been an outsider.

The worst feature of the affair was, that the bearing of the title no sinecure - it entailed much suffering, many troubles, great sorrow. But I am not going to enter into all that - you know 'as we sow, so we reap' - & we both of us know exactly what happened, the cause thereof, & the results. Every single detail of what took place during those dreadful months & weeks is deeply imprinted imprinted on my memory, I have lain & thought over it, until I felt I was going silly with the horror of it. I have gone over all your the letters you wrote me just 8 years ago to the very date, & oh the sentiment contained in them is so different from that shown in the recent relationship between us. It will soon be the boys birthday too, & I keep going over the different things that happened just before he was born - I remember you were very kind just then - on & off you were 'squibbish' you know & a bit 'sky-rocketty', but you didn't continue it & I felt you cared, & that at the bottom you were 'real gold' & I loved you for it all, how much, only you & myself can possibly know. ............

si·ne·cure (s n -ky r , s n -)

n.

1. A position or office that requires little or no work but provides a salary.

2. Archaic An ecclesiastical benefice not attached to the spiritual duties of a parish.