Sorry everyone - been another manic week for me :( Do please keep checking this page and I'll be back with you very soon x

***Part 3***

Seven years ago tonight you took me for a drive – the old nurse too - & we called at the ‘Cat’ don’t you remember - & then on the Thursday the boy was born, & do you remember how you beat up that old egg, & how – oh! You were very good, why are you not like it now? Then on the Sunday you blew me up & made me cry, like an old horror that you are.

My dear old man, my feelings towards you are not changed one bit, however much yours may be towards me – whatever you said or did to me, I shall always love you – things might come to such a pitch that I could not stand it for a little time – but I do not change .

The boy sent his love, I was in two minds to bring him, but I wasn’t sure of your being in, in fact, I half thought you might have gone to Boston. Mind you if he had come, & seen & heard that dreadful monstrosity, I’m sure he would have given her “beans”. My dear I cannot accuse you of having chosen her for her beauty – hithero I have always admired your taste. That’s only fun, you know, neither malice nor insolence – Please write to me, am in hurry to catch poste – much love.

Always Yours

Georgie

Don’t think hard things – try to remember anything good of me I always think of the good parts of you.

***Part 2***

…………..I waited till the 7.17 & didn’t get back here until 10 oclock, & as I don’t feel particularly strong I am knocked up this morning rather – the affair altogether did me up – it made my heart beat so dreadfully & I felt faint & sock with the excitement, & how I managed to get here at all is a marvel to me.

My dear husband I must see you – why not? You are surely not going to shirk your responsibility, are you, with regard to myself & the boy?

I had a good school & gave it up as I thought, at your desire – now I am absolutely penniless, with at the present time, nothing whatever in view. Another thing, I suffer so much from terrible headache & that deadly faintness, that I could not take a school where the salary wold be much – I must take a very small one, & that means small money.

Apart from this side of the question why cannot we have done some quarrelling for my part, I am ready to acknowledge to you, (not your caretakers mind) all & anything that I did wrong. You know as well as I do, that my conscience is a very tender one, & that it will when I have done wrong smite me sooner or later………

Part1...... Mr H really is awful!

Highclere

Brentford

Aug 3rd 1898

My dearest Husband,

I cannot understand at all the behaviour of your caretakers to me yesterday when I came home. that they were not speaking the truth I soon discovered for one contradicted the other. You know the state of mind & body I was in when I came to Brentford, so that I can see no reason at all why you should have given these people orders that Mrs Hockley was on no account to be admitted. Neither can I in any way fathom what that 'wonderful & awful apparition' who opened the door meant when she hinted mysteriously that people soon get to know secrets. Secrets! What secrets! - I've no secrets. as I told her. Of course I recognised that pair - the French maid next door used to be very friendly with the old man last year when they took care of Francis' place. Whether the old man got mixed up or not I cant say but this is what he said to me when I went again - 'Mr H said he didnt think it could be Mrs H who called because she said in her let that she should never trouble him (Mr H) again.' and he also said that he understood you to say you answered that letter which of course you never have. why my dear old soul, I never said anything of the kind, I said I could not understand a loveless miserable life such as I had been leading, again, & I said if you desired that we should live separately I would agree to that properly & legally drawn up..................

Hello to you all!

I just thought I woud update you with a few stats. To date this Blog has had 708 views, and the audience from:
UK
USA
Russia
Eire
Germany
Spain
Portugal
Canada &
Italy

UK at the top so far with 569 views leading down to Italy with 1 :(

Please keep reading and apologies for gaps, but those of you who kow me well, know that I have literally be snowed under these past few months, and it can sometimes be difficult to find the time each day to copy out these letters.

Mags

****Part 3****

…………………………But 'old times are gone, old manners changed' & for a very long time now, things have been very bad - & it seems to me that the sooner things are definitely decided the better it will be for both of us. You so often told me to 'clear out' that I have almost grown to believe you really meant it, but at the same time you must quite understand that I am perfectly willing & ready to come home the moment you want me. - the fact of your wanting me would be sufficient guarantee that you still had my welfare at heart a little - you see I do not take it into account that I might also be useful in the house. If there is anything you want done that I can do, I will gladly do it, or as I said before, if you care about me enough to want me at Roslyn I will come, or if you would rather we lived apart I will acquiese in that also, of course properly agreed to & conditionally - I cannot say fairer. I know my dear husband I am tired & spent & a little hysterical too, with the writing of this, because my thoughts will run on, & so goodbye, my dear (shall I say it, yes this once anyway) 'old man'.

Yours as ever

Georgie

There is one thing that I have felt glad about, though it may perhaps seem a little thing to you, the boy never forgets you in his prayers

ac·qui·esce ( k w - s )

intr.v. ac·qui·esced, ac·qui·esc·ing, ac·qui·esc·es

To consent or comply passively or without protest

Part 2

****More new words I've learnt in this letter****

…………………………I felt that my strength was giving way, & indeed it did - & I knew that things would never alter unless they were brought to a conclusion by some means or other.

Now my dear husband, I am well enough to come home, & in a few days Artie will also be able to travel. Are you ready for us? You see, my dear, I should never dream of asking such a question, but you have so often told me 'that I was of no earthly use to you' that it is perhaps as well to do so. I have an ever present idea that you would prefer me to be away, & I am the last person in the world to force myself upon anyone. In fact, I could not stand again the loveless miserable life I led for months at Woodford - I had none of a wife's privileges, not one single right that belongs to a wife. I simply bore the title 'Mrs Hockley' - to all other intents & purposes, I might have been an outsider.

The worst feature of the affair was, that the bearing of the title no sinecure - it entailed much suffering, many troubles, great sorrow. But I am not going to enter into all that - you know 'as we sow, so we reap' - & we both of us know exactly what happened, the cause thereof, & the results. Every single detail of what took place during those dreadful months & weeks is deeply imprinted imprinted on my memory, I have lain & thought over it, until I felt I was going silly with the horror of it. I have gone over all your the letters you wrote me just 8 years ago to the very date, & oh the sentiment contained in them is so different from that shown in the recent relationship between us. It will soon be the boys birthday too, & I keep going over the different things that happened just before he was born - I remember you were very kind just then - on & off you were 'squibbish' you know & a bit 'sky-rocketty', but you didn't continue it & I felt you cared, & that at the bottom you were 'real gold' & I loved you for it all, how much, only you & myself can possibly know. ............

si·ne·cure (s n -ky r , s n -)

n.

1. A position or office that requires little or no work but provides a salary.

2. Archaic An ecclesiastical benefice not attached to the spiritual duties of a parish.

***Apologies that I've been quiet for so long, with a little bit of 'gentle' prompting from the lovely Beth, I though it best to find some time! Here's the first part of another long letter***

***Seems weird in the first part of this letter that Woodford is referred to as a Village***

Brentford

July 25^th 1898

My dear husband,

I should no doubt have written to you before this, but until about three weeks ago, I was far too poorly to do so. A fortnight ago last Friday I came to Woodford, but did not feel strong enough to stay – I found that measles was much about the village, indeed they were closing the schools that very day on account of it - & a few days after Artie was sickened for it & got through it very nicely, with up to the present, no complication at all. Of course, now, there is no infection, else I should not have written, & I am being careful to keep him out of draughts etc, so I do not apprehend any further trouble,

I hope you found the little note I left for you on 31^st May, it was in the back bedroom.

I am sure that my coming away for a bit was the very wisest thing to do under the circumstances – at any rate it put a stop to that dreadful ‘reign of terror’ which was endured in our house for so long, & which had wrought much havoc upon the nervous system of both yourself & myself…………………